Mr. Moonknight, I'll address your concerns here once, but then I will have to call it a day. Sadly in such an economy even an organization as powerful as ROACH has had to trim back on such luxuries as troll food. I'll pick what points I can from your ramshackle ramblings. Your slights against my abilities with satire would sting more if you understood the basic tenant that brevity is the soul of wit (as you are about to not see, and as I often let slide, White Skull ahem).
A: You whinge about me being stupid, ignorant, intelligent (thank you), arrogant, short sighted, brash, crass and slanderous. I'll add hubristic to that and point out that I'M A GOD DAMNED SUPER-VILLAIN!!
B: This brings me to another main point of ROACH, how can these people call themselves Superheroes, if they have no one on the other end being Super-Villains. Otherwise, they're at best... Mild Heroes
C: "Satire - the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc..."
Seems like that's exactly what I did.
D: My tee shirts are actually quite high quality, soft American Apparel shirts with 2 color discharge printing on the front and one color discharge on the back which allows for rich color on a dark shirt without the heavy ink texture that would come with plasicol. You should get one.
5: You claim that somehow I suck at what I'm doing here. Well to be perfectly transparent, the ROACH site, and now the blog were created by me as a testing ground for creating an alternate reality experience for people and as a calling card for places where I may try and get work. I'm trying to create a Super-Villain organization just like the ones you would see in the movies or comics, complete with a fatally arrogant leader who's goals and desires may be beyond the reach of his intelligence. Seems to me that since everyone else involved is having fun, and there are a handful of people (you) taking it absolutely seriously, I'm actually quite successful in what I attempted and any agency or company would be glad to have someone with the know-how in design, motion graphics, coding, and general creative ability to hand them an experience as rich as this. Which brings me to my close.
6: The main reason I'm even bothering with you is because you took this beyond the realm of fiction and fantasy and called out, the real me. When I slander, libel, pick on, and insult someone like DC's Guardian and his ward or Shadowhare I am picking on fictional characters. And they are fictional whether they like it or not. They are alter egos, the same as say Bruno, or to a less successful degree, The Potentate. Had I found out DC's true identity and said "Hey ROACH, this is Joe and his daughter Jane Smith, he is a (insert profession here) and a pedophile and his daugher is an asshole." I didn't. I picked on a fictional character, the man who plays DC's Guardian can still go about his business unharmed. Much like how you could come on here and say The Potentate is a dick, fag, pederast, asshole, motherfucker, shit-heel, or whatever until the cows come home and I'll play along with whatever brash response. You ask me if that sort of slander is something I would want to see in the paper? Sure, that's why I'm a villain. Would I want to see my family involved in this in that same paper article? No. THAT'S WHY I DON'T PUT PICTURES OF MY FAMILY ON THIS SITE!!!! (actually I do, but not my children)
And if I were to get the real identity of DC's Guardian, and if he is in fact having issues with custody I would say with the greatest of kindness. Perhaps you should spend time with your child out of costume no matter how noble your intentions might be.
But, you decided to say to the world, this is Paul Hogan, this is what he does, and I am going to harm him by keeping him from getting work, and ultimately this will harm his family, and then made veiled physical threats. That sir, is far more evil than anything I have done.
(takes a breath)
Which is why I want to offer you a position with ROACH! You have clearly done this as a ploy of ultimate nefariousness and I am impressed. Here I sit saying... My word this young man, or woman, is REALLY GETTING MY GOAT! And it hit me!
What a talent!
What a scourge!
And he has the drive!
My hat's off to you! And your comment about shitty weather and clam chowder has me thinking that you may even live in my fair city, so we could work hand in hand if you man up and come out from behind your alter ego and email me. Though, if I have one sticking point, I'll have to dock you for a slight lack of creativity as you stole your namesake from an existing Marvel character. So if you'd be so honored,
I DUB THEE... The ANGLER, who distracts his prey with a shiny object and then devours them with his big mouth.
Welcome to ROACH, I am proud to call you one of my own.