RLSH Phoenix Jones Arrested

Phoenix Jones arrested (again) this time in his super suit. Well about freaking time, what took them so long?

For those unfamiliar with this "hero" Phoenix Jones is a masked vigilante who patrols the streets of Seattle. Unlike other RLSH members Jones is backed by a public relations team lead by Peter Tangen. Since the beginning of this year Jones has been featured in many media outlets including national television, magazine, and radio spots. Now time to smile for the camera... it's shoe time!

Phoenix Jones Stops Assault from Ryan McNamee on Vimeo.

In the past there had been some question if some of the accounts Phoenix Jones gave about "fighting crime" where true. Even some videos of events have been accused of being staged. Do to the arrest of Jones by the SPD we are going to go with a leap of faith (snicker) and believe what we just viewed is an actual event and not staged or doctored in any way.


So it looks like a large group of people are doing something... hacky sack... the Lambada? Our "hero" runs in yelling his battle cry of "Call 9-11" charges into the mealy of confusion with a can of pepper spray (tear gas). All the men get the hell out of there... they don't want any part of this Black Batman bullshit. Now we have some wonderful life imitating art about to happen. If you recall from Batman Year 1, one of the caped crusaders first outings as a crime fighter involved him getting his ass handed to him by some prostitutes. It's really kinda funny as most RLSH members love comics, but fail to grasp the problems they will face bringing fantasy to reality. Your not going to go out in a blaze of glory stopping the Joker and saving Gotham.... some bitch with a shoe is going to wail on you.


I love these women, if there names ever go public they are defiantly getting T-shirts. I have wanted to chase Phoenix Jones around with a shoe for months now. I am guessing these gals also read comics as they know super heroes are not going to go all mixed martial arts on a lady. This is normally the time Batman would have say used his grappling hook or Batmobile and gotten out of there... but this is real life. As everyone is dispersing Jones cheerfully does a PSA to a passer by about not fighting in the streets.


Then (instead of leaving and or turning off the camera), Jones and crew decide to pursue the crowd. Zap Pow Bang action shot as someone gets hit by a car! Lots of running, confusion, and some phone time with the 9-11 operator. The girls return to confront Jones again, asking repeatedly "What have I done to you?" Damn I guess they do not read comics and fail to grasp the concept that Phoenix Jones is a dark avenger of the night and is doing all of this to help you.... and be marketed as a "Real Life Super Hero" a symbol of hope in this dying corrupt world.


Clobbering time with the shoe again... the ladies still do not like Black Batman or his can of pepper spray. After more shoes of fury they start pushing Jones and tell him to "Go Home!". At this point the men have re-grouped.... and have had a little time to think over the last four minutes of their life. If two women can take on this guy with a shoe.... wait a minute.. we are a freaking group of guys and this asshole not minding his own business pepper sprayed us. Unfortunately the camera man gets shoved into a wall and we loose some awesome fighting... well probably not, most likely it is Jones running away from them while trying to use his pepper spray.


Chapter Five: RUN AWAY! Ok "Hero" you are frantically calling the cops, think the people you pissed off.. oh wait I mean saving might be armed. What do you do, what do you do? Well if you were The Bat you would have been out of there over three minutes ago... most likely drinking a watermelon smoothy made by Alfred. I don't think they are impressed with the costume anymore.. pepper spray still sings though (hey when is that thing going to run out anyway?). The rest of this fine film features our crew of urban prowlers on the phone with 9-11, running, and having angry villagers chase them before the Settle Police Department shows up. Law enforcement do not like cameras... they have their own on the dash board of the vehicles.... end of movie.


After release of this story Jones mouth piece and creater of fantasy super hero posters Peter Tangen was quoted saying the following:

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Tangen says Jones had heard about a large fight where “somebody had just been body-slammed onto the concrete” and was rushing to help.

Jones apparently deployed his pepper spray to break up the fight.

Tangen—who claims police “seemed to have disregarded” a hit and run at the same scene, and failed to interview a cameraman and journalist who were with Jones, and had witnessed the fight—could not immediately provide PubliCola with a copy of the video.

“It’ll be interesting what [police] have to say when the video comes out,” Tangen said. “I’m very sure it’s going to show a different story than what police are saying.”

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Well Gosh I am no expert but it seems if your product Phoenix Jones had not gotten involved no one would have been hit by that car. And your "hero" failed to attend to the hurt person.... I guess they did not want his autograph?

Golly Pete, maybe you should stick with movie posters and exploiting dying children than encouraging a masked vigilante activism with fame and fortune dangled on a carrot in front of them. Peter Tangen has been quoted as wanting to do something that would get him public attention as apparently being paid thousands of dollars doing movie posters does not make you a house hold name.


SPD arrested Jones and booked him into the King County Jail for assault. Jones was released from custody several hours later.


The justice system used the Phantom Patriot Act and confiscated our "heroes" costume and two cans of pepper spray before he hurt more civilians in his misguided quest for fame and fortune. I just hope they take a long hard look at who is motivating this person and for what means.